Keeping Your Father’s Name?
Good Morning,
It seems I have occasionally ruffled some feathers, and today is going to be the same. Put this down or hold on to your socially-acceptable feelings; get to a safe space and turn on some praise and worship music.
Genesis 3:20 “And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.”
Genesis 5:2 “Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.”
The thought today is subtle. This truth is part of the endless steps toward the deterioration of a Christian society. It matters like baking power or baking soda matters in a recipe. A recipe never calls for much of those ingredients, so what if you use one instead of the other? It may seem like a little thing. Well, it matters a great deal! Little things often matter in big ways.
This truth is like men or boys wearing pink. (I digress and will address that another time.)
When God made man, He made them male and female and called THEIR NAME ADAM. The wife and husband were one. That term, "one flesh" is used repeatedly in the Bible: Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31, and more beside those.
Some of the rich and famous folks keep their father’s name or prior name because of a desire to guard and establish their own identity, independent and "free." I believe most gals, who keep their dad’s name in their new married name, do it out of loyalty to their father, whom they love; but the fact is, they do it out of ignorance of the Scriptures and biblical truths about the body of Christ.
The idea of "one flesh" is spiritual, reflecting or picturing the relationship between Christ and the church. Thus, the terrible sin of adultery violates fantastic spiritual truths.
Genesis 2:23 “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Ephesians 5:30 “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.”
This joining of two to make one is mysterious, spiritual, and planned by God.
When a girl is born, traditionally, and I believe scripturally, she carries her father’s name. When that lady marries, the father walks her down the aisle, and the preacher asks who gives away the bride. Dad usually says something like, "Her mother and I do." She no longer belongs to her father; her former identity is being dissolved. After the vows, the preacher usually says, "I introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. (husband's name). She then takes her husband's name for life – they become "one flesh."
Notice the context of the prior verses:
Ephesians 5:31 “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
vs. 32 “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”
The reason a man is to leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife as one is established in verse 32; it is a mystery concerning Christ and the church (LEAVING father and mother, another subject I will address one day).
Romans 7:2 “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.”
For the wife to keep her maiden name, which, by the way, is not her own but her fathers, limits the idea of "one flesh." She is partly joined to her husband, yet still clinging to her father, or what some might think today, her own identity.
I do not want my wife to cling to her former identity. When we were married, we became one; she and I have been ONE for decades – not two independent parts. This is the issue: a division or a separation is a failure to unite. I have known widows who kept their former married name when they remarried, using both her deceased husband’s name and her new husband's name – WHAT CONFUSION!! Who are you? Who are you ONE with? Are you one flesh or just living together now and then? Are you emotionally, spiritually, and perhaps, legally tied to a dead man?
Romans 7:2 “... if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.”
There is a "LAW OF HER HUSBAND,” and that law binds the two together; as the vows say, "'till death do us part." At death, the law is broken, and the woman is free from that law.
If my wife had wanted to keep her father's name, I would not have married her. I know it is becoming a cultural trend, but as I wrote earlier, consider who you are identifying yourself with. Keeping the father’s name is the behavior of politicians and Hollywood folk. Do you follow their lead?
If my wife died, and I were to consider marrying again, I want that lady to be DONE with her former husband! She would be ONE WITH ME.
"God called THEIR name Adam," the woman had the same name as the man. Adam gave her the name Eve later.
We use a phrase like, “making a name for himself or herself,” and that is what society is trying to do – make us independent and separate. God wants the home and the married couple to be ONE!
Pastor