Roles At Home
Good Morning,
Psalm 2:3 “Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.”
vs. 4 “He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.”
The Psalmist wrote of big shots who thought they could ignore the directions of God, “break the bands,” or violate the rules and directives God had set up. This attitude is not new or honorable; it is foolish and arrogant. God set up guidelines for governments, churches, and homes. Regarding the home, we see that the Lord set some clear directives; notice the distinct duties of the man and the woman.
The man is said to RULE the house, but the woman is said to GUIDE the house.
1 Timothy 3:5 “(For if a man know not how to RULE HIS OWN HOUSE, how shall he take care of the church of God?)”
1 Timothy 5:14 “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, GUIDE THE HOUSE, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."
These two verses are different, yet both are supremely important. The vocabulary was chosen by God, and He really does know best.
We have a free will; God will allow us to play the fool if we desire. If we want to allow God to guide us, clear instructions are written in the Scripture.
The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Nowhere in Scripture is the woman asked to do such a thing. That is what a man is designed to be and do.
What other directives do men have?
2 Thessalonians 3:10 “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.”
If there is any doubt who this is talking about, you can read verses 14-15 to see Paul use the words “man” and “brother.”
The man needs to work and provide for the family.
1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
There is no place in Scripture that speaks of a man guiding the home. That is “woman’s work;” and that is said with no insult; it is a matter of Divine intent. I am the pastor, and there is no lady that can pastor this church as well as me, it is my job – God designed and planned it.
The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is said to look well to the ways of her house. She will guide and guard it:
Proverbs 31:27 “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”
Man is told to provide for his family. No woman is ever required to do that. She may work (and she will almost always work in some arena), but the responsibility of provision is the man’s.
Regarding other responsibilities, the man is uniquely assigned the duty as father to train children. Our prisons are full of men who were raised without a father. Mass shooters are almost always men without fathers in their lives. No, a woman cannot raise a child as well as a man and a woman together; and yes, Satan works hard to split up homes.
Men have a duty to win the hearts of their children.
Malachi 4:6 “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” This is repeated of John the Baptist in Luke 1:16,17.
There is no Bible verse that puts even a small emphasis on the mother’s relationship to her children in order to prevent the Lord from smiting the world with a curse. God set the imperatives, God allows us to know what matters to Him. There are some things a man can do in raising a child that no mother can do.
A man is a picture of God the Father in the home, he gives children the example of the One Who provides, protects, and guides their lives. One way a dad does this is to get up each day and work to provide for the needs of his wife and children. This is not a matter of preference but rather it is the God’s plan.
Can a lady have a job? Of course. Proverbs 31 tells of the virtuous woman, and much of the passage has to do with working outside her home, but her primary job is the home. If I was hired to clean a business, but I had the ability to drive a forklift, driving the forklift would not be my job - cleaning is my job. It is not about ability, but design and plan by the boss.
In the home, duties and roles are spiritual; duties show God, His love, and His provision to the world. The wife teaches the powerful role of the Holy Spirit in the background guiding, motivating, inspiring, and honoring the Father. Also, through the wife, God shows us the submission of believers to the will of the Heavenly Father. Men cannot improve on the organization and order of the Sovereign Lord. All we can do is improvise and operate at an impeded level of production. No man can do a woman’s job, and no woman can do a man’s job and still obtain the success God desires to see in a home. When that plan is broken by death or other troubles, then God gives grace to continue with His help.
We can always trust the plan of God, even though it involves frail humanity. God knew all about us before it began. If we will trust Him and His Word, He can help and guide us through life.
Pastor