Relax & Love Each Other
Good Morning,
I know a Christian couple, who lives in another state, and a comment was accidentally made. It was the husband who said, “I love to watch your services on YouTube, when my wife is not around.”
The wife may not know about this, but if she did, how embarrassed she would be as a decent lady! Should her husband fear comments or ugly treatment because he watches a church service online? A home ought to be a place of liberty, love, and acceptance. We can differ. My wife may tease about my liking ketchup on my sandwiches, but I am not embarrassed; it is my sandwich, not hers. I never expect her to eat the same way I do. Why should she harass me about my taste? (She would not.) This man is a good godly man, but was fearful of what his wife might say if she knew he was watching our church services; that concept is difficult to grasp.
No adult should be fearful of the treatment of their spouse for something like eating habits, what they watch, or how they behave (as long as it is lawful). Obviously, I am not talking about perversion or criminal activity. I am bothered that any adult would be secretive about their actions for fear of the response of their spouse. Especially, when it has to do with their church or in this case, their former church.
Each spouse is a married adult. I would not sit with my wife and watch some of the more feminine shows she might watch, but it is none of my business what she might watch. I watched some shows with my son, when he was young, that my wife did not enjoy and did not sit with us. She is an adult like me, and we do not order each others actions.
If I were not a pastor, I would pick the church I would attend. My wife could do as she pleased, but if children were at home, they would attend with me, for I believe I will stand accountable before God for the activities in which my children are involved. It is not my place to order my wife to do anything. I think a spiritual wife would trust the spiritual choice of her husband and follow him, but that would be her decision, not his; nor should a man or woman be castigated for choosing differently than their spouse.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
That verse, or a very close version of it, is in the Bible seven times. A married couple is one flesh. They are to love, share, and care about each other, and they should not be ashamed of things the other person likes or dislikes.
Many years ago, one of our men spent a lot of money buying things for his bus route. One day, he called me over to his car, opened the trunk, and showed me all the things he had purchased for his bus. He said, “When I get a paycheck, I go get things for the bus before my wife sees how much money I made; that way the bus gets what they need, and she doesn’t know about it.”
Perhaps this is common, I am not sure; but if it is right, we should not be embarrassed. If it is wrong, we should not do it. In order to have a biblical marriage, there needs to be a unity – “one flesh.“
Love your spouse; create an environment in which they know they have the liberty to do what they would like to do without being judged and criticized by their spouse.
Romans 14:4 “Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.”
Pastor