Appropriate
Good morning,
As a child, my brother and I stayed at the home of a babysitter who had National Geographic magazines. Some of the primitive pictures of natives were certainly of interest to little boys: lack of clothing, feeding a baby in public, and lack of discretion — these are typical of primitive or Third-World nations.
1 Timothy 2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;”
Ephesians 5:12 “For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.”
The forward woman in Proverbs 7, talked about her bedroom. She described how it looked, how it smelled, and how safe it was from discovery. Her actions were certainly the wrong way to behave. When reading the books of Proverbs or Song of Solomon, God alludes to different matters of intimacy with vocabulary and sentences structured in a manner that if read by a child would still be appropriate. Notice the careful wording God uses in this passage of Proverbs:
Proverbs 5:15 “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”
vs. 16 “Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.”
vs. 17 “Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.”
vs. 18 “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.”
Those words make a point without being too direct. In our culture, we would use the word would be discreet, appropriate, or delicate.
The following verses contain the bluntest words you will find; notice how carefully God used them:
vs. 19 “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
vs. 20 “And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?”
When I was a child, people did not use the word pregnant; but instead, the words expecting or with child would be used. Rarely would anyone even speak of a lady carrying a baby in mixed company. Clothing was loose fitting and the subject was whispered. Intimate subjects were simply not a matter of public conversation. Private concerns of health or our bodies were not discussed in public — and that was in the public school or among my unsaved, non-Christian family. The word used in the Scriptures is shamefacedness: which means to be bashful or very respectful of those around you. Many subjects are not wrong but do not need not be discussed publicly. Conversation should contain some bashfulness and discretion, and should also be guarded so as to protect the mind of others.
Let me be blunt. For a teenage boy to see a lady throw a shawl over herself and then slip a baby in to breastfeed does much for the imagination. It brings the boy’s mind to places he should not go. I went through my entire youth never seeing any lady feed her child until my wife, and that was in private. Feeding a child privately is described as appropriate, discreet, and civilized.
Photography has become more than immodest, and we have brought our children into a society in which subjects are discussed that certainly do not fit the words shamefacedness and sobriety. (1 Timothy 2:9) Having a little shame or bashfulness is far from the expectation of today’s culture. When our last child was born, we were surprised at the lowered standard of what is appropriate since the birth of our prior child a decade earlier. Walking through the hospital for an introduction of facilities, they showed us where the wife would have a last-minute sonogram. Asking if someone would like to demonstrate, a lady near delivery hopped up on the table pulled up her shirt and allowed a dozen or so men to view not only too much of her flesh but also the sonogram of her baby. I quickly stepped to the back in the crowd to protect my appropriate and discreet thinking. What is wrong with our society? The guide of our tour went on to describe the best place to set up a camera if you wanted to video childbirth. I do not care what our society says — that is as close to pornography as it could be! Yes, childbirth is amazing. Yes, the miracle of a new child is incredible. But how does discretion fit into the picture? Only a few years ago, a husband was not even allowed in the delivery room. Our culture has become unfathomably primitive, and we have lost the discretion that was brought into our society through the Bible and Christianity.
The lack of propriety or discretion can also slip into a Christian’s life. The Bible tells us to confess our sins to God. James says to confess our faults one to another. Faults and sins are different; the words were carefully chosen by God. We need not describe graphic and detailed situations to other believers: we are not priests. The garbage in one person’s mind is probably best left there; to put that information in the mind of another believer is not necessary. Confess the sin to God. To say I am sorry for being rude to you is a long way from my telling you about private sinful deeds. One is a fault, the other is a sin.
Ephesians 5:12 “For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.”
Deeds that are done in secret simply do not need to be discussed. We close doors and wear clothing; we do not discuss subjects that our clothing covers or about what is done behind closed doors (unless it is with a parent or a doctor). These practices are the product of a civilization that has been influenced by Christianity and the Bible. I do not need to hear ladies talk about someone's clothing size or a breast pump. For ladies to talk about these subjects in private would be more appropriate. Subjects which are discussed in the presence of a man should be entirely different. Perhaps that way of thinking is extreme, but no one ever got in trouble not knowing something.
Our culture has glorified the “no boundaries” kind of mentality. People with no boundaries say anything, take pictures of anything, and casually converse about anything — just like people in primitive society do. I left that mentality when I put down the National Geographic magazine and chose to think as God directed.
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Pastor